Falling Back Into the Old Life
*After this, Jesus revealed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias; and he revealed himself in this way. Simon Peter, Thomas called the Twin, Nathanael of Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two others of his disciples were together. Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We will go with you.” They went out and got into the boat; but that night they caught nothing. Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the beach; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, “Children, have you any fish?” They answered him, “No.” He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, for the quantity of fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved* said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his clothes, for he was stripped for work, and sprang into the sea. But the other disciples came in the boat, dragging the net full of fish, for they were not far from the land, but about a hundred yards* off. When they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire there, with fish lying on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish that you have just caught.” So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred and fifty-three of them; and although there were so many, the net was not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. Jesus came and took the bread and gave it to them, and so with the fish. - John 21:1-13
I was watching Jeff Calvin’s daily reflection on the Hallow app, and I really thought it was good. From this passage of scripture, he made a point to reflect on how Peter and the Apostles went back to their normal way of life as fishermen after the resurrection. Notice this was not after the crucifixion, but rather the resurrection. In John chapter 20, we have already read that Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalene on the first day of the week and how she ran to tell Peter and John. Peter and John witnessed the empty tomb and then returned to their homes. When it was evening that day, Jesus appeared to them through locked doors. He breathed on them, giving them the Holy Spirit (more on this later). A week later, Jesus would appear again to the disciples in what would come to be known as the “Doubting Thomas” incident. Thomas had declared that he refused to believe unless he saw the mark of the nails in Jesus’ hands and put his finger in the mark of the nails and his side. Jesus once again appeared through closed doors and allowed Thomas his request. He, however, admonished him, and us, that blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.
We thus have had two instances where the disciples have personally witnessed the risen Lord. He has risen indeed!
And yet, here we find the disciples sitting around waiting, not knowing what to do. I can perfectly see in my mind the characters portrayed by the Chosen actors. Peter impatiently stands up, pacing, announces he is going fishing. The rest of the disciples’ eyes widen in shock and confusion, stand immediately, and respond, we are going with you. There is almost a comedic effect to the scene.
The normal scenario plays out. They fish all night, and yet they have not caught any fish. Right when they are ready to pack it in and head home in defeat, Jesus appears and asks them to let down the nets just one more time. We know how the story ends. They catch such a huge haul of fish that everyone is amazed at how the nets don’t break under the weight of all the fish. The disciples realize it is the Lord and have a meal.
With that setup, we get to the point Mr. Calvin’s makes in the Hallow Daily reflection. The problem statement is, how often and how easy it is to go back to your old life even after a powerful encounter with the risen Lord.
Some reasons for this could be that we are disappointed in who we were before the resurrection. Peter had denied Jesus 3 times. Maybe we can’t get over the person we were before having faith in Christ. Or maybe things don’t go as you expected in your post-resurrected life. There are still disappointments, rejections, illnesses, losses that come even as a believer in the risen Lord. And it is in these times of frustrations and setbacks a person can throw up their hands and say, “You know what, this isn’t getting me anywhere, I am going back to living life my way. I am going back to fishing.” It seems reasonable. The common justification for this reversal is, at least I was in control before I came to faith.
But this is the real kicker. You were never in control. You were never able to make that old life work. It was never meaningful, it never fulfilled your desires.
What happened to Peter and the disciples is the perfect example of what going back to your old life looks like.
THEY COUGHT NO FISH!
The old life gave them nothing. The same can be said for us as well. Going back to the old sins, the old patterns, the old ways nets you nothing. Only the same emptiness that we are so accustomed to. Why? Because Jesus said, “Without me you can do nothing.”
Jesus met them in their failure once again, and provided once again. And then he invited them to sit with him. To have a meal with him. This happens every time we go to Mass and receive Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. We receive his love, his mercy, and his graces at the altar of the Lord. And then our cup runneth over.
The one thing that I wish Jeff Cavin would have mentioned, and the reason I wanted to post this content, is the sacrament of reconciliation. Jesus had restored Peter. He asked, “Do you love me?” (confession) and then told him to feed my lambs (absolution). And thus set Peter off as the first Pope of the Holy Catholic Church. If you have found yourself drifting back into your old ways, your old life, take it to confession. Absolved of your sins, you can get right back in the thick of it. Freed and forgiven, in a state of grace, you can begin again. Side by side with Jesus to do his will and to be a beloved son or daughter of Christ.
Without me, you can do nothing.
Jesus meets us in the aftermath of our failure.
To Jesus through Mary,
Rich